PEOPLE WATCHING #2
A boy and a girl are sitting together at a small round table. His hair is big and all in disarray like a young Einstein. His demeanor seems to be saying that he has no time for her. He is obviously busy and deep in thought, or at least he is trying to appear that way. His face is craned over scattered books and papers. He refuses to look up at her. He completely disregards her pleadings. She is desperately trying to gain his attention. She wants to know something. I can see her mouth form the words, “Tell me, please, just tell me!”
She seems to be entirely out of his league—blonde and just plain gorgeous head to foot, so I’m intrigued by his subtle and reserved ability to resist her. She clearly wants him. She is leaning over, revealing everything she has and everything that he could ever want, yet still, he shows no interest whatsoever. His gaze remains fixed on his books.
She lays half of her body over the table. She puts her hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her. He seems repulsed. He seems to not know her at all. She tries to kiss his lips but he averts his face and pulls away.
Her body goes limp with defeat. She says, “Fine. Whatever,” and takes a big bite from his sushi platter. She stands up and waits for a sign of recognition that never comes. She looks around the room, embarrassed from her rejection. She puts on her coat and gathers up her things and before leaving him there to be alone and free of her, she leans over and whispers something into his ear. Whatever it is, it causes him to lift his head and watch her walk away through the busy crowd of student bodies.
Sometimes I’m like a dog that’s sniffing poop and then my nose gets kicked and I go running off all sad that my nose got kicked and I think to myself NO BRYAN! you’re not going to go back and sniff that poop but then I do go back and sniff that poop because I can’t remember why I’m not sniffing the poop so I go and sniff the poop and I just keep getting my nose kicked and I keep going through this cycle of not knowing why I’m being kicked and not knowing why I keep sniffing poop but one day I’m telling you one day I’m going to snap and I’m just going to go ahead and sniff all of the poop that I want to sniff because it’s my life and if I want to sniff poop then by God I’m going to sniff poop and there is nothing that anyone in this world is going to be able to do about it.
ANY HAPPY LITTLE THOUGHT?
I’m not particularly crazy about J.M. Barrie or anything (Peter Pan is pretty much all I know of his work), but I found myself thinking about him today. My thoughts weren’t revolutionary by any means, but they were deep and true. I took my son to the park- something I hadn’t done for a long time, but should have. I brought a book to read, but found myself just watching him run around and play with another girl that looked to be about his age. They had no emotional reservations, my son and this girl. They saw each other and that’s all it took. They became instant friends- with no hidden agendas or preconceived notions. They just wanted to have FUN.
FUN OR BUST!
I was so jealous of them. Their friendship was pure and innocent and based on simple principles. In an almost methodical sequence, I watched them as they slid down slides, and hung on bars. They threw wood-chips at each other and pulled up big clumps of grass. They looked at me in stunned confusion as I scolded them, telling them to stop pulling up the grass and to calm down. My repremand was false and fell flat, however. I didn’t really care, and they could tell. If it weren’t for my inherited adherance to the often steifeling status-quo, I would have helped those kids rip that park to shreds.
The concept of Peter Pan is simple: Never grow up. There are a million rebuttals against this concept, but I’m going to follow my gut on this one and declare that they’re all bullshit. What did that one guy say? “…Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Now, assuming that Jesus actually said this, and assuming that Jesus was a God in the flesh- why would he say this? Is he saying that heaven is just a bunch of little kids running around? I don’t think so. If that were the case, heaven would be a giant day-care center. And that would be fucking Hell. I think he meant something more than that. I think he was referring to a mindset. I think he knows that if people want to be happy, then there can’t be personal judgement of others, there cant be social status and bigotry and corruption and hatred and envy and all of those things that depress us and bring us down to despair as we grow older. Heaven is an ideal. Heaven is a Revolution.
Anyway- OFF TO NEVERLAND!